Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
