So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
