You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
