I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I enjoy the company of your penis
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
