I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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