is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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