Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
