she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
