but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
