highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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