My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
