I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
People in love make me want to vomit
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
no you cant smoke seaweed
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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