I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
