I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
