you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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