You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
