oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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