Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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