fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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