I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
mondays should just be called national damage control day
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize