I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize