I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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