How's work?
Spinning.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
