i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
