Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
