Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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