It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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