True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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