who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
