just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
