According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize