dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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