I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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