I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize