Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
