Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
