if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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