You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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