why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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