There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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