Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
