So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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