3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
