For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
