I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
