Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize