im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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