I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
