Plan B is the new Plan A
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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