PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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