We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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