is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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