I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It's just like the Real World with babies
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
