He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
love makes seman taste better
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
