So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
