Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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