in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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