Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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