I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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