I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
