people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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