if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
