I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
