question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
